I give up

Nothing interesting has hapepned to me for weeks and nobody seems to care whether I write on here or not.

Thanks and goodbye.

Good Morning World

I realize that I was very bad last week and didn’t give you a rundown of my week and update you as to my potential goings-on at the weekend – so apologies for that, but in truth, you lot, if in fact there is anyone out there reading this, are so inert that I actually don’t care !

Last week was as boring and one dimensional as it usually is, with the added bonus of not being able to swim or run…… which makes being a triathlete a little more difficult than usual.  You’ll remember that I can’t run because I have a damaged Achilles, and I can’t swim because the only accessible pool for about 100km has closed its doors to 1 and 3 month membership – and even if I knew how much 6 months was going to cost, I wouldn’t pay it as I’m only likely to be here for 2 more months (well, that’s the theory anyway).

So I did go to Yas Marina circuit on Tuesday night and do 70 very easy kms (“very easy” in the sense that I was practicing drafting for the big 12hr thing next Friday, which now isn’t – but more on that later).  Drafting isn’t usually allowed in Triathlons (unless you are actually “in” the Olympics – in which case Time Trial bikes, like PII, aren’t allowed), and as I hadn’t seen anything in any rules (actually, I hadn’t seen any rules) on drafting  I thought I had better get a feeling for it.

Endurance racing, whether it’s running, cycling or with a motor of some description, is a balance between Speed, Reliability and Fuel Consumption.  If you are using your body as the engine then obviously the Fuel Consumption bit concerns energy, and both feeding it and using as little as possible for as long as possible.  Drafting fits that bill particularly, and it is astonishing exactly what a difference being sat on someone’s back wheel can do – not only can you go as fast as they are but you can do it with minimal effort.  So on Tuesday night I managed to up my average kph to around 35 whilst making it feel easy.  You do feel a bit of a slut though, just using other people without putting any effort in to lead the chain (it’s quite funny when you suddenly notice that someone is drafting you – I never know whether to feel proud that I’m going fast enough that others think I’m worth drafting, or hacked off because someone's getting a free ride !)

Anyway, back to the story – I got an e-mail on Friday telling me that the race had been cancelled due to adverse weather – predicted high winds and unseasonably high temperatures.  I do wonder why they hadn’t worked out that cycling for 12 hours, right through the day, in the Middle East, at the beginning of Summer, wasn’t going to be hot and therefore a problem, but I suspect that as there had been a complete lack of communication concerning the race, even with a week still to go, that they either weren’t remotely organized, or they just didn’t have enough entries to make it worth it.  It’s been rescheduled for January 18^th and if I’m still here then I’ll definitely have a go at it – it’s a really interesting challenge.

So the rest of last week was a bit of a damp squid really, nothing much to say – I restocked the freezer, so had to do a bit of shopping and cooking but other than that there’s nothing much to tell.

I went back to Dubai on Thursday, ostensibly to get PII in for a service before the big race (which isn’t…….) and because one of my old colleagues was flying in from Saudi for the weekend and I hadn’t seen him since he came to stay with me out in the sand a couple of months ago.

We met up on Thursday night in my favourite beach bar (Barasti) and had a few drinks and a long chat about various things, and I found myself constantly whining and bitching about everything.  As I realized I was doing it, I apologised, but the subject turned to why I was doing it.  After a couple of pints analysis it seems that I don’t actually ever get to talk to anyone in this sort of capacity, who either cares or understands, and  I suppose I was just trying to get it off my chest !  We met up on Friday night (in the same place actually, just he and I, for dinner…… the fish and chips there are superb in my opinion !) and didn’t seem to go over much of the same ground, so it really is just about getting stuff off your chest I reckon.  He didn’t have the same sort of issues because he’s part of a team of three or four in the same location and situation, and he gets the same chance all the time – it was quite interesting to analyses it.  It seems that I just don’t get to talk to anyone normal !

I was very naughty over the weekend really, though, I should have gone sea swimming at least once (because I can’t get to a pool here), but I listened to my body I’m afraid, which kept saying “turn over and go back to sleep”……. I feel guilty now L  I did go to the gym in Julian’s new block (which is not very good) and do nearly 2 hours of sweating on the x-trainer and the bike, but I didn’t manage anything on Saturday for various reasons – mostly sloth and idleness, but I did go and see my physio friend (who is just back from a month in Morocco) and she de-knotted my back and sorted out my neck for me, and in return I cooked her a curry and kept her company for a bit (hardly an arduous task !) before driving back to the sand last night.

I have resolved to be a good boy this week and put in lots of bike and to start running again (if I can/should).  I am looking forward to the weekend as I'd booked into a hotel for Thursday night (so that I could be up in time for the 0700hrs start on Friday) and Friday night (as there was little or no chance of me being in any fit state to drive home after 12hrs on a bike !) and now that the race has been cancelled and I won’t get any refund on the hotel, I thought that I would just treat it as two days at a training camp.  So I intend to swim at least three times, I’m going to take my bike and try and work out a circuit around the island without being killed on any of the big roads, and get back on a treadmill at least to start conditioning myself for TriYas in three weeks time.

All I have to worry about is remembering to take the right things with me, oh, and food obviously - I'm loath to pay an arm and a leg for hotel food (I think I might have breakfast organised) so I can feel a trip to the Lebonese Mill coming on..........Mmmmmmmmmmm

And on that bombshell I’m going back to following the Malaysian GP on the internet.  It’s not the same as sitting in front of the telly with a beer but it’s still better than nothing !

Ouch

Both ends of my body are aching (or at least they were…… one end is now just feeling sorry for itself !)

My ankle/ Achilles still hurts, well, more nags really and is going to get the ice treatment tonight, as soon as I get back from the pool !  I’m supposed to be cycling 70k tomorrow night at Yas (although yesterday we were in the middle of a huge sandstorm and today the wind hasn’t been a lot of fun !) in preparation for the big one in a couple of weeks.  I have to get my legs turning at least three or four times in the next couple of weeks before winding down ready to wind up on Friday 30^th.

I’m sure most of you are more interested in just how drunk I was on Friday than in how fit I have to be in two Fridays’ time (the answer is, I have absolutely no clue whatsoever……. And neither have most of the people I was with – but I can tell you that I think I was in bed at about 5……. in the afternoon…….).

I was well enough to go shopping on Saturday though, then go to a BBQ with some new friends (and jolly nice it was too !).  It always feels like I spend a fortune in Dubai – which I do, but to be fair, it’s once a month generally and I have a whole list of things I can’t get out here in the desert.  I need a few bike bits ready for next weeks’ (30^th) 12 hour endurance race, and a few foody things (as some of you may be aware, I can’t do milk and butter, so if I want to make flapjacks then I have to get Flora, or Diet Flora does just as good a job and is healthier still, and they have no such thing in my little collection of shops – I can get it in Abu Dhabi when I go there but I don’t always get time………  I’ve found a receipt for maltloaf that I fancy having a go at, but I can’t seem to get malt extract out here anywhere (not even in Waitrose on Saturday !) and malt extract is a bit of a critical ingredient for malt loaf !  Hey ho – we’ll keep trying and you never know, there will probably be a specialist store somewhere that will willingly amputate a limb so that I can pay for it !

Briefly, and I mean briefly, last weekend went in a drunken flash – I hadn’t meant to drink too much on Thursday night but got a last minute invite to meet someone and go and meet some of his new friends (he’s just got here a couple of months ago).  I had already had a bottle of wine at this point and Julian had gone out for dinner, so it seemed like the right thing to do……… it could have been worse I suppose.

Friday started slowly but by about 1 it was in full swing – trouble was it was probably all over by about 5 (nobody seems to know very much about anything after about 4.42 (there was a Facebook post then), except for one guy who has a full statement from the police to assist him with his enquiries !

Saturday was breakfast, second breakfast, shopping and then a BBQ in AD on the way back to the desert – I got home about 10 and am only just recovering now.  I had to go to AD for a meeting yesterday (and tomorrow) and I struggled to get out of bed this morning !

On that note I’m going to leave you before I find any more excuses to not do any exercise !  I’ll try and find something interesting to tell you towards the end of the week – I am going back to Dubai this weekend but to meet a mate coming out of KSA for the weekend and have dinner with some friends (we have vouchers for a restaurant with no license so it should be safe enough !  Plus I need to get my legs turning over before this bloody race !

A Day Early

I’m not sure if you get an e-mail or something, when I upload the next installment of my fascinating life (?) but if you do then I don’t want you to get too excited because this is essentially a day early.  I usually knock something out on a Thursday, generally because, like every office in the world I suspect, mine goes very quiet at the end of the week, as various people find excuses to drift off early, or not come in at all for that matter.

Well, tomorrow I will be one of those people.  I’m going to a big company meeting/ gathering/ presentation thingy.  The CEO of the contract I’m working on is giving a presentation about something and we’re all invited.  There’s a bit more to it than that but there’s a free lunch and a raffle for people who turn up and register before he kicks off at 10 (the more cynical amongst you will simply assume that previous efforts have been so boring, or so long winded, or so pointless, or all three, that they now have to offer incentives just to get people to turn up…… the fact they are having it on a Thursday morning, with lunch also effectively means that the day is a write-off and therefore the end of the week is the end of today…….. It’s why I’m going anyway !)

So, the reason you’re getting your dose of dross a day early is because I’m going to Dubai tomorrow night and therefore to have an excuse to travel halfway there, leave early, and get a free lunch, was too good to miss !

I thought you’d appreciate that.

Don’t forget that I might have to do some work as well – it’s not all plain sailing you know !  (besides, if I go to the office after the free lunch then I can chastise all those who haven’t shown the proper commitment to the CEOs initiative, and been “too busy to go” as well as asking pointed questions about those that were  at the presentation but who haven’t gone back to the office, thinking that they could get away with going shopping or knocking off early to beat the traffic back to Dubai – shameful behavior !  I can then go to the off-license on the way to Dubai whilst feeling smug all the way back to Julian’s !)

Anyway, the long and short of it is – you’re getting this a day early because I’ll be far too busy tomorrow to have time to entertain you lot !

On a slightly related note (entertaining you lot) – I’m sure that you’ll all be glad to know that I spent yesterday in quite a lot of pain.

After my last blog (you may have worked out that I was a little peeved when I wrote it ……) you may or may have worked out that I had done quite a lot of exercise at the weekend and was feeling quite bullish about it – well I went for a swim on Sunday night (which takes most of the pressure off my legs) and then a run on Monday.  I have been adding a bit to my runs every week, and Monday night was due to be 14km, and as always I set off with the intention of listening to my body and changing to plan B if necessary.  The plan was to run 7k around the camel track (a full circuit is 8.3k) and turn and come back to complete the other 7k.  This gave me a get-out if I didn’t feel too clever as it was easy to continue around, complete 8.3k and pack up without losing face (so to speak !).  Well, even before I set out my legs felt heavy so I was already expecting to find an excuse to kick it into touch early and as I got to the 7km mark I was running OK, but my left Achilles was starting to argue with me.  It had been stroppy for a couple of k but as we got to 7k I decided that it was clearly making enough noise that something must be wrong.  So I carried on instead of turning around.

What happened after that is a bit of a mystery – well, what happened isn’t a mystery (I kept running, having used a few minutes of boredom to work out how far 8.3k I would need to run in order to turn around and come back to complete 14km……..), why I did it is the mystery !

I’m not entirely sure what was keeping me going (I had plenty of energy and all the other bits of my body weren’t complaining any more than usual) because my Achilles was by now screaming at me to stop.  To cut a fairly boring story short, I finished, stretched and didn’t feel too bad but as the evening went on, after I had had a shower and some dinner (I had wrapped my ankle with a bag of ice and some clingfilm) , things started to stiffen up.  So a bit of Deep Heat and early to bed and everything was fine.

I was also fine when I woke up in the morning – right up until the point when I swung my legs out of bed in the morning and stood up……… or more precisely, tried to stand up.  The pain shot up through my leg and out of the top of my head (well, that’s what it felt like anyway…..). 

Ok, 36 hours later, no exercise (apart from a bit of hobbling around) and I seem to be winning – the Achilles has reached “a bit stiff” but no longer painful (I’m sure you’ll all be terribly glad to know) and I’m going for a swim tonight.  I’m mostly going for a swim tonight as it’s relatively unlikely that I will do anything that looks remotely like exercise all weekend (unless Keira Knightly turns up in my room early on Friday morning, with a coffee obviously, otherwise I’ll have to send her away again !).

As I intimated earlier in the week, I’m off to Dubai tomorrow and it’s my first night out since Christmas I think (I mean proper night out – starting at lunchtime……. I had some when my family came to stay but they don’t count !).  I’m staying at Julians which means pool and curry/ pizza/ beer/ wine/ Cheetoes on Thursday night, and then he’s going off to play golf on Friday morning and I’m going to lay in bed and do as little as possible, then maybe go and have a coffee with a work colleague or maybe with another UK friend who has now moved in over here, and then it’s off for a veritable meat feast of a brunch as part of one of his mates “stag weekend”.  Personally I can’t see it running much past “drinking as much as you can for a fixed price” between 12 and 4 but you never know !  The rest of Friday is likely to be a bit of a blur and then I have some bloke shopping to do on Saturday morning, and then off to AD to a BBQ (it’s going to be predominantly South African, and they call it a Braai……. But it’s a BBQ really…… bless our colonial cousins !).

If I survive all that then it’ll be back to the sand for an assessment of current fitness levels (which will probably involve falling face own onto the bed) ready for another working week !

The only real worry this week was that because I could hardly walk on Tuesday, I sacked my usual visit to Yas Marina circuit for some bike laps – this is a bit of a worry following my declaration for this stupid 12hr endurance race as I was planning to get as many laps in between now and the end of March as possible (just to get the tender parts of my body toughened up, you understand.

Anyway, part of the bloke shopping on Saturday morning is to get some more comfortable (for comfortable, read “padded”) cycling shorts – I think this is likely to be essential in the great scheme of things, and along with a couple of other cycling related shopping items, forms the bulk of my shopping expedition on Saturday morning, along with gels, pumps and another water bottle holder.

Right, I have to get on and do something useful now (swim, pack and eat !) and then to bed – have a lovely weekend and keep your fingers crossed for me on all fronts (I don’t go to Dubai very often now and the whole weekend is loaded up with jobs !)

I’ve been told that I’m boring…….

I know – it's astonishing isn’t it !

It seems that the fatter, more unfit people amongst those that read my blog without ever interacting with it, have been communicating that they’re bored with all the facts and figures, and that they liked it better when I did other things.

As I tried to impress upon my wife only a day or two ago, I don’t do anything else anymore.  I spent the first three months of my time out here franticly saving for my bike, and most of the next 3 saving for the imminent arrival of my family (I’m under very strict “sensible” instructions – which to be fair, have put us in the very favourable position that we're in today….. even if they’re boring !).  So apart from training for events, and the events themselves, I’ve pretty much done bugger all since Christmas.

I guess that whilst you lot have generally been freezing your nuts off and digging yourselves out of the snow, and I’ve been trying not to get sunburn whilst sitting on snow white sand at the beach, you’re not terribly bothered whether I’m doing anything more interesting than getting fit, or not ?

So this week I’m going to make a point of not reporting anything to do with fitness that happened over the weekend.

So on Thursday night I got Chinese for dinner and ate far too much and on Saturday morning I went to the Tilal and had a 3 hour breakfast, with extra coffee and papers and everything.

Right, that’s about it then.

I did read my book a bit I suppose, and I did watch a couple of episodes of Drop The Dead Donkey (series 1), and I did have a sweep round and change the sheets on Thursday night – but I guess that’s not all that interesting ?  Oh, and I had a bottle of beer on Saturday night with my lasagna (and salad !)……. Well, now that I come to think of it, it might have been 2 bottles actually.  I collected my laundry on Thursday as well (steady…….).

Today I bought a loaf of bread.

That really is it now I’m afraid.  The rest of the week looks just as exciting (up to Thursday night when it all goes positively stratospheric).  Today is nearly over as far as you’re concerned, I’m having chilli for tea (and salad) and tomorrow I’m going to go to work and have sausage casserole for dinner.  On Tuesday I’m going to AD for a series of meetings and a visit to the bank, as well as one or two other things related to the things we don’t talk about any more.  I will probably have a couple of Chicken Shwarma from IKEA for supper before driving back to the sand.

On Wednesday I’ll probably come to work and have chicken curry for dinner (I know this because unless I go absolutely stark raving mad, then it’s the only thing left in the freezer apart from some bread – clearly I need to do some cooking !  This will give me something riviting to talk about next week though, you lucky sausages !)

On Thursday I’m going to Dubai and I’m probably going to get absolutely plastered on Friday afternoon.  I can say this with a certain amount of confidence because, due to the things that we don’t talk about anymore, as well as the lack of practice, I can now barely sniff the barmaids apron without burbling like a fool, and I’m going to an all you can eat and drink session from 12 till 4, and you know what I’m like for needing to get value for money !

I have friends to catch-up with on Thursday night, Friday morning and Saturday morning and I’ve been invited out to a BBQ on Saturday afternoon.  I also have to do some food shopping at some point but I don’t want you to get too excited…….. (as well as a bit of shopping for things to do with things that we don't talk about any more)

Hey – I seem to have written Thursday’s blog as well.  That’s good, I have more time to do all the things that you’re not interested in.

As a matter of interest, I now have regular readers in the UK, US and UAE, as well as Russia and Germany, with occasional visits from Brazil, Latvia, Columbia, Thailand and Taiwan.  So hello, and a big thank you to all of you for reading.  I’ve said it before, but it would be nice if I got a little interaction from my readers….. just a little something to let me know if I’m getting boring, or that you’d like to hear more of something.  As it is I’m never absolutely sure that I’m not doing this just for my wife, in which case I can just e-mail it to her and she can tell me if it’s boring.

Right, it’s reached that point in the day where I will leave work and go and do something before it gets dark (it’s really boring doing this something in the dark, and the lights under the water really get on your nerves……. I just hope the sandstorm is over.)  I was really lucky that it was only just getting started as I was getting to the end of my 113km something that we don’t talk about on Friday morning, and that I had a treadmill to do the 10k something else we don’t talk about on Friday afternoon, as well as being able to go to the room with things in on Saturday after breakfast, and do some more things we don’t talk about whilst the storm raged outside.

Chao !

PS – don’t blame me, you asked for it !

Oh - What To Do

I can’t make up my mind about this weekend.  I am going to Dubai next weekend for a brunch with Julian and some of his mates (one of them is having a stag weekend) so that is likely to be carnage, even if it’s not very expensive, and then I’m coming up the following weekend to see one of my old colleagues from the previous AD job who is flying in from KSA, and the following weekend is the mental bike race at Yas. 

I have the NEED for a few bike bits that I can only really get in Dubai, as well as s few food items which I can’t get in MZ, but I’m sick of driving, having gone to AD about 6 million times in the last 3 days (or so it seems).  So what to do ! 

The weekend, if I stay here, is as follows – exercise rest day today, walk to town centre and buy something take-away for dinner (might have Chinese from the mall or mixed grill from the Lebanese restaurant I sometimes go to when I have people here).  Friday – cycle to Tilal, swim, cycle back (it’s about a 40k round trip if I go the long way round coming back), lunch and then 10+k run in the afternoon/evening and something out of the freezer for dinner. 

Saturday – I might go to the Tilal, use the gym for something (either a gym session or possibly a long bike/treadmill/x-trainer session) and then pay for breakfast and spread myself over a large area with the paper and proceed to sit and eat, drink coffee and do Sudoku for the best part of 3 hours.  This is quite an attractive option actually, and I could, if I wanted to, take my book and some suntan lotion, and lay by the pool all afternoon…… mmmmmm what to do !

The downside to all of these things is that I will barely exchange a word of English with anyone other than shop, restaurant and hotel staff over the whole weekend.  There will be Skype conversations with family and the odd friend no doubt, but it’s not really the same is it.

The whole Tilal thing is a bit of a blag as well at the moment – my membership ran out a couple of days ago but they are so badly organized that they don’t have any idea when, or even who, is supposed to be in or out.  I’m going to renew it for another month, probably this weekend if I go there for brunch on Saturday, so that it takes me through to the Yas Triathlon in April – I need access to the pool at least 3 times a week at the moment, otherwise I wouldn’t pay their ridiculous fees !

Julian is away in the UK at the moment so I won’t have anyone to talk to in Dubai particularly.  I’ve made enquiries of the other people that I generally know there outside of work, and they are all either away or doing something of their own, or have people staying with them so haven’t got time for me – it’s sad really isn’t it ! 

I know from experience that you can go stir crazy in your own company for too long, and my work colleagues (in MZ) are great but they are not social beasts in any way shape or form, and my colleagues from AD are generally either from Dubai and/or married and have their own weekends planned – and those that are single are generally in an alcoholic haze, which is neither helpful from a training perspective or from a saving money point of view.

Whatever I try and do I don’t think I can avoid spending some money, and it may actually cost me more to stay in MZ than go to Dubai, if I decide to treat myself to breakfast at the Tilal anyway.  I will undoubtedly spend money in Dubai, on food if nothing else, but it would mean that I had the bike bits a week earlier…..but does that really matter………

So – What to do !  I guess we will find out soon enough.

I now have the promise of some pictures from last weekends Triathlon, so as long as they don't make me out to be a old fat sweating tub of lard then you'll be the first to see them !

The only other news is that I've entered a 42km bike Time Trial in Dubai the week after the Yas Triathlon, so I should be in tip top form to lay down a (hopefully) quick time - I'm entry number one, so there's a pretty good chance that I will go off first........  once again, we shall see.  Right, off for some lunch.  Later Dudes..........

The tale of the tape

As has become customary, I’ll update you on the goings on from the weekend first – I haven’t got any photos to show you (yet) of me in action but hopefully someone somewhere has taken a few/ couple……..even one…… that I can use to prove that I was actually there !

As you know, I was competing in the Abu Dhabi International Triathlon this weekend, along with about 2000 others.  I was in the shortest of the three races, the “Sprint” as it’s quaintly named.  The Sprint is supposed to be 750m swimming, 50km cycling and then a 5km run.  I say supposed because there is a little doubt over whether the bike course was actually 50km.  I say this because my GPS (which I forgot to start at exactly the right time – but not 10km late !) registered 40km and when I got back someone else in the changing tent said that their GPS had registered only 42km.  And before one or two of you ask (one in particular !) there was absolutely no doubt whatsoever that I turned at the right place (this is easily confirmed by the official timing results as there were timing mats absolutely everywhere, thank you very much !)

It’s a shame because before I gave it much thought I had worked out that my average speed for the bike section was about 41.67kph which would be awesome – and I thought I was flying but never through it was flying that fast !  (the GPS download later confirmed an average speed of just under 34kph which I would have taken as excellent and been very happy with if I hadn’t been hoping for 41kph !)  I guess we will never really know.

Anyway, back to the plot – the official timing and results service has me finishing in 2 hours and 55 seconds, in 36^th place (from 275 starters – of which 263 finished) and 8^th place in my age-group.  So I’m probably dead chuffed really.

Breaking it down into components – The swim was much better than usual and I guess reflects the amount of effort I have put into training.  It’s still not good, never mind great, but I think I may have got over a mental hurdle this weekend.  According to the timings it left me in 104^th place – so mid-field (believe me, this is an improvement !), and I didn’t feel that bad when I got out of the water, which is also an improvement !

Transitions were pretty good, and could probably have been a little better (especially T1) but it’s a little difficult with long distances between coming out of the water and actually being able to ride your bike (instead of pushing it to the mount line).  It wasn’t helped by me following my usual routine of putting my sunglasses on before my bike helmet, and not being able to see a bloody thing because we were inside a massive unlit tent……. Doh !  Still, better luck next time.  I’m also going to have to invest in a bike computer I think, or at least a mounting bracket for my Garmin.  It’s incredibly useful, mentally, to know where you are within your chosen distance, but dicking around trying to put it on in the middle of a race is not clever – more thought needed !

The bike was great, mostly…….. I got going really quickly and generally settled into a really good rhythm and was passing literally hundreds of people (we were on the same course as the other two distances by then and some of them were into their second hundred km……).  Officially, between the end of the swim and the end of the bike (including T1) I passed 62 men in my distance. This is all theoretical as there are a number of waves (different start times) for each group – three in the Sprint Race (I was in the second) so the official timings mean that I was the 104^th quickest out of the water and by the time I came in for the run my time was the 32^nd quickest – I know it sounds confusing sometimes but I was, in a computer at least, passing people who set off behind me !  As a point of interest, I think I passed over 30 people in the changing tent, which just shows you how important the “4^th discipline” is (transition).

I said mostly at the beginning as there were a couple of not great moments during the bike, one was at a feed station where I was trying to get a gel and had a massive high speed wobble whilst I had one hand off the bars (my stomach still churns 24hrs later as I’m writing this when I think about the probable implications of what might have happened at that point !  It’s a bloody good lesson in slowing down at feed stations, or taking enough energy with me on the bike so I can avoid them – enough said I think (phew………).

The second “mostly” moment came at the end of the bike section.  I had taken my second gel (as was the plan) and had run out of water.  As I came around a corner I saw a feed station and got some water (in a slightly more controlled manner…….) and was trying to get a drink when I realized that I was due to dismount in about 200m.  You might not think that this should be a problem but it’s not quite as simple as it sounds.  My shoes are basically fixed to the pedals (you can get them off easily enough by twisting your feet……. More of that in a minute…..) and my preferred modus operandi is to loosen the Velcro straps on my shoes, slip my feet out and place them on top of my shoes before climbing off the bike as I stop – all in one flowing movement (it looks fantastic when it all comes together, and saves loads of time in T2 cause bike shoes are not easy to run in).  However, this move needs time and considered thought to perform……. And I can tell you that 200m of panic, in front of a crowd, isn’t enough !  What happened (and has now been erased from the memory so it can’t have been as bad as the feeding station incident !) was that I threw away the water bottle, got one foot out of one shoe as I was slowing down, realized that I wasn’t a) slowing down fast enough, and b) going to get the other foot out as I need both hands on the brakes. At this point I twisted my foot so at least I had my foot free of the pedal, and could put it down as I stopped – all sounds good so far………….

The problem is that the cleats (the fixings on the bottom of your shoes to fix to the pedals) are hard plastic and not in the least bit grippy so as soon as I stopped and put my foot down in a hurry it slipped straight out from under me and I fell in a heap, all bike and tired legs and swearing !  On the upside I guess the 65 million helpers who all grabbed me, my bike and my dignity, and helped me up, must have been there for that very reason and I was soon on my way, dragging my dignity along behind me.  I guess there isn’t any downside really – nothing was broken, I can’t have lost more than 5 seconds in the context of the race, and I haven’t discovered any photos of me on my arse yet !

Moving swiftly on – the run with your bike into T2 is quite long here.  I’m sure some people hate it but to me it’s actually a help because you can’t go mad (cause you’ve still got your bike) but you get a couple of hundred metres for your legs to get used to the fact that they aren’t cycling anymore, and believe me, my body has a lot to say on the matter.  Triathletes call it the Brick (don’t ask me why…….I have no idea), and we train specifically for it (at least once a week I will make time at the end of a long bike ride to get straight off the bike and go for a run – usually at Yas Marina after 50+ km I will get off the bike, put on my running shoes and do a circuit (5.5km).  They say that by doing this specific brick training your body gets used to the changing nature from bike to run and it gets easier – I have yet to be convinced !

T2 was much simpler – because I had overtaken so many of the other people in my class, and because I had started in the middle wave, it meant that there were virtually no bikes back on the racks and all the lanes were clear, and it was much the same in the changing tent which made life much simple – in, shoes on and out, all in 30ish seconds. 

Analysis of the run has thrown up a number of things for me to think about in future, not least of which is that you can’t really tell how hot it is whilst you are going flat out on a bike (because the wind keeps you cool).  In retrospect (and we all know about the benefits of hindsight) I should have taken on more fluid and fuel whilst I was on the bike.  Whether I could have gone fast enough in the run section to make up for the time I would have lost slowing down to take on more fuel is a test for next time I think.  As soon as I came “bursting” out of the changing tent I realized that it was way hotter than I had imagined.  It wasn’t particularly sunny, just hot, which is worse in a lot of ways as it’s a very oppressive heat which just sucks the energy out of you.  I grabbed a few sponges and a bottle of water at the aid station at the beginning of the run and set off.  From experience I know that it takes between 500 – 750m for me to run off the effects of the bike and settle into a rhythm where I can start to tick off the KMs and look forward to the end, so I was counting on this kicking in earlier than normal because I’d already run 200m with the bike back to T2.

It just never happened – because of the heat and the lack of fuel every step was a struggle.  I grabbed more sponges and drinks (I only get a mouthful at a time, and enjoyed pouring it down the back of my neck more than down my throat) as I went round, and with every step I thanked anyone that was listening to my prayers that I wasn’t doing 10, or even 20km (I guess this was a good learning curve, as there’s no way I will go that quickly on the bike over a longer distance, unless I somehow learn to eat and drink more whilst going at speed – which seems unlikely, and therefore I will be better fueled for a longer run.).  I did manage to speed up over the last couple of KM but there was no way I could sprint at the end.  It was nice to get to the end although I must have looked a bit of a mess as the doctor stopped me across the line and started asking me pointed questions (designed, I think, to see if I was delirious – clearly anyone that does this sport needs a different set of questions cause I think we’re all mad frankly !). 

It’s a bit like those disclaimers on exercise equipment that say something like “If you are out of breath using this equipment then you should consult a doctor” – if you’re not out of breath then you’re not doing it right !  I don’t want to get to the end of a triathlon with enough energy to sprint, or not to look like I’ve given everything (it’s a bit of a fine line I grant you, between giving it everything and collapsing before the end !).

One of the other things to remember next time is not to tip water over my head whilst wearing sunglasses on a hot day – the water immediately dries on the glasses leaving marks all over them and you can’t see a bloody thing.  You then have to carry them the rest of the way when frankly you should have better things to think about !  I’ve tried running in sunglasses a number of times and I just don’t like it and I think I’m going to have to invest in one of those hatless peaks (if you know what I mean) to keep the sun out of my eyes – one more bloody thing to remember every time I go to a race !

After the doctor finished with me I got a medal to add to my ever growing collection, I was thrust a handful of sponges by someone that had clearly been sent by the doctor and thought I needed some ice cold water down my back (I did – thanks Doc !), and then joy of joys, I got an ice lolly…… never have frozen e-numbers tasted so good !  I grabbed a coke and a bottle of water and wandered back round to the changing tent.  It was absolute chaos !  So I went and found some shade and did some stretches and did a bit of reflecting, drank my water and then sort of mentally wandered off………  The trouble with these things is (as I’m fast learning), if you’re on your own then it can all be a bit of an anti-climax.  There are things to look at and do (there was free food but I’d forgotten about that in the rush to get home !) but my first priority, after getting my breath back and stretching, was to get out of my sweaty kit.  Not difficult I hear you say…… however, the changing tent was still raging with competitors going through T2 and finishing, so that wasn’t really an option, the toilets were all full of spectators and other competitors, and probably swimming in water by then…… so there was only one option (in my mind anyway – it might have been different if there had been other people with me I guess), so I waded into the changing tent, grabbed all my bags (I had three if you remember), collected my bike from the rack, (giving up my transition entry wrist band in exchange for my bike – a pretty fair exchange I thought, and a good way of making sure that nobody else walks out with your bike !) and repaired to the relative calm of the car park.

It was by no means a quick operation to sort out my kit, get some dry clothes on and pack my bike into the back of the car, but it was probably a damn sight quicker than if I’d tried to do it with a 1000 other people !

The other reason I didn’t want to hang around was because I had heard, from several sources, that there was another dust storm on the way, and having driven up to AD in thick fog at 5.30am I didn’t feel particularly inclined to do the reverse journey in thick sand !  As it happened I was probably right to get away when I did as it seemed to kick off about half way home, and was still going flat out this morning !

The rest of yesterday was generally spend recuperating.  I drank virtually non-stop  all the way home (about 2 litres of fluid), had a shower and then fell asleep (I know how to have a good time !).

I guess what I haven’t really talked about so far (and we’re up to four pages already), was Friday. 

Friday was Triathlon admin and shopping day. For an event of this size you can’t just turn up in the morning, get a number and go.  This requires another 4 hours of travelling (because I’m too poor for a hotel), parking, queuing, signing disclaimers, and more opportunities to spend money on lycra and tiny packets of carbohydrates.  It takes the best part of half a day and when added to the other things that you suddenly remember you can’t live without and should therefore head to the nearest shopping mall to get, is probably harder work than the bloody triathlon itself.  Still, I think those that have come from another country feel that it’s all essential to complete the “experience” and I guess I will view it in the same light when I go abroad to complete my biggest challenge (as I will inevitably have to do) – but until then, it’s a poor excuse for wasting half a day in my opinion.  Still, I guess it cuts down on the postage, but why there can’t be a facility to collect on the morning of the race, especially as I didn’t start until around 9.35, is beyond me !

Well, that was my weekend – I hope yours was just as much fun !